Important to note they they have strenuously avoided any discussion of his sexual orientation. In fact, the "sin" for which they are holding him responsible is his lack of faithfulness to his wife.

The letter Haggard left for his congregation is revealing - although it hasn't been widely published in its entirety or received much attention. I found this portion particularly interesting.

I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life.

For extended periods of time, I would enjoy victory and rejoice in freedom. Then, from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach.

Through the years, I've sought assistance in a variety of ways, with none of them proving to be effective in me. Then, because of pride, I began deceiving those I love the most because I didn't want to hurt or disappoint them.

The public person I was wasn't a lie; it was just incomplete. When I stopped communicating about my problems, the darkness increased and finally dominated me. As a result, I did things that were contrary to everything I believe.                  LINK

This doesn't sound like a man who was simply abusing power. Indeed, it sounds like the pain of a closeted gay man who has struggled to meet the impossible demands of judgmental and bigoted religious beliefs in an unforgiving social environment. (The story of the NJ Governor, McGreevy, also comes to mind here).

This confession is extraordinarily threatening for the religious right. It's important to remember that the religious right leaders have a lot invested in convincing everyone that orientation is a "choice" and a "lifestyle" rather than an intrinsic identity and that to be gay is a sin rather than a normal human variation. They also have significant financial and political interest in convincing the public that homosexuality can be effectively treated with their brand of "therapy" (reparative) if the individual truly desires it.

The fact that a prominent religious right leader, who believes in the sinfulness of his behavior, has struggled with it throughout adulthood raises serious questions about "choice." The admission that he he sought assistance (their brand of "treatment"?) on a variety of occasions without resolution of the problem raises serious questions about their claims that homosexuality can be "cured." Unfortunately, the choice he made was to fight his "demons" covertly while overtly condemning the behavior.

I hope that there will be some positive outcomes from what has been a tragedy for him, his family, and his congregation: first, that these implications are discussed openly to educate the public and  second, that Haggard find himself a respectful, knowledgeable, secular therapist to educate him and help him sort through his conflicts in a constructive way. It would be really cool if he was then able to tell his story (as McGreevy has done) and speak to those who have have been similarly misled or even destroyed by false beliefs. That could be true healing and redemption.

It's important to note, incidentally, that Dobson initially offered to assist with his "restoration" but then backed out because he was "too busy." Probably a good thing since for all his blather on the topic, I doubt Dobson knows how to begin to deal with this situation. Suspect the right leaders will distance themselves as quickly as possible. To "love the sinner" is easier in theory than in practice.

by Psyche on Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 07:10:56 PM EST