"I know sometimes you think/that all you really are/is the woman with the kids/and the groceries in the car.... baby all I see/when I look at you is/one hot mama/let's turn it on, let's turn it up, let's turn this room into a sauna/one hot mama/what do you say, babe?/you wanna?"--Trace Adkins, "Hot Mama"


If you work in a doctor's office, library, or other public place where one can read a variety of magazines for free, you may want to hide your magazines from clients who are members of the American Family Association. That's just one takeaway point you get from a recent article on their OneNewsNow website, "Readers Beware!", and the many comments attached. The author, Marcia Segelstein, is billed as a "former producer for CBS," a freelance writer, and a mother. She read the July 2007 issue of Redbook, a magazine geared towards married mothers, in her doctor's waiting room, and helpfully dissected its "crude and distasteful" content for OneNewsNow readers.


The American Family Association thought her warnings about the "hedonistic" content of modern womens' magazines were so worthwhile, they issued an Action Alert last week:

"Redbook has become the new Playgirl. The sex advice they are giving throws all traditional values out the window and encourages a pagan, hedonistic lifestyle."


The AFA Action Alert goes on to ask readers to cancel their subscriptions to Redbook and all other Hearst magazines, and provides an 800 number and list of titles. These include Popular Mechanics, SmartMoney, and the decorating magazines House Beautiful, Veranda, and Country Living. Readers can then fire off the usual (for the AFA) e-mail of displeasure from their website.


Segelstein's article inspired me to hunt down a copy of the July 2007 Redbook at a public library. Country singer Faith Hill was on the front cover; her husband, fellow country singer Tim McGraw, was on the back, showing off the new Christian fish tattoo on his well-defined arm. But simply being Christian and monogamously, heterosexually married isn't good enough for Segelstein or the American Family Association. A truly godly wife and mother apparently shouldn't be a "hot mama" like Faith Hill. Nor should she, despite all that stuff in the Song of Solomon, look for ways to feel sexy or spice up her relationship with her husband. Redbook's editors nestled a few pages of this sort of advice in between recipes and tips for enjoying summer with the family. I actually found the recipe for Lemon-Date Shortcakes with Nectarines and Raspberries more enticing than much of the sex advice, but that's just the kind of hopelessly lost and worldly chick I am. Segelstein, however, was looking to be shocked, appalled, and dismayed at the direction of modern-day womens' magazines, which she believes are "a bellweather of cultural decline".



This means that the word "vibrator" in the excerpt from their "56 Ways to Feel Sexy in a Flash!" is rendered "v_____r," for starters. Redbook also advises that if you've only got 30 seconds, a good way to feel sexy is to "Clench your girl muscles." In other words, do a quick few Kegel exercises, which are very beneficial to all women, especially those who have had multiple children. (For one thing, they delay the need for Poise pads or Depends.) OneNewsNow renders this "Clench your g__ muscles." This demonstrates the symbiotic relationship between prudery and dirty-mindedness right here--I was genuinely puzzled as to what word was omitted, and some of my guesses were bizarre and/or amusing.


Segelstein also doesn't like that Redbook's "advice guru" didn't mention "marriage as the foundation to society and fidelity as foundational to marriage" in her statements to an "other woman" who had written in. The agony aunt advised the woman to end her relationship with the married man in practical language that acknowledged how difficult it would be for her to bury her dreams of a life with him. Again, this was not good enough for Segelstein: "[I]t's an easy mistake to make considering that our society doesn't have villains anymore--only victims." Even the fiction recommendations came under fire.


This may seem scarcely worth discussing to some T2A readers. Of course Christianists all too often act shocked by normal life in the real world, including the magazines in a doctor's waiting room. Besides, these are just womens' magazines we're talking about. But a few important things distinguish this from your grandma's rant about how culture is fast sliding downhill. Though the American Family Association has diversified into other aspects of the culture wars, most notably activism against LGBT civil rights and the "war on Christmas", it was founded by Reverend Donald Wildmon to "clean up" American media. This means, among other things, threatening boycotts of companies that advertise on TV shows they object to, something they have done with some success for decades.


For the past few years, they have advocated that womens' magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and, yes, Redbook be covered by blinders in grocery, drug, and discount stores, or that the magazines they dislike be eliminated entirely. They have urged members to contact local store managers about this issue, even picket local grocery stores, as well. Most of us can see their success with that project every time we go shopping. In a brochure called "Glossy Garbage", they express alarm over the open discussion of womens' sexuality to be found in these magazines, both on the covers and in the content.


The comments Segelstein got on her article were many and overwhelmingly positive. (With comments, the article came to 24 printed pages, and I use the smallest font possible for printing.) Many were quite telling. The following is only a small sample:


"We wonder why things are going on in this world today with high prices, job cuts, disasters all over and our children raising themselves with no morals, or no decency for themselves, look at the older people. look at the articles they write in magazines now...Freedom of speech can wreck havoc, and we shall each be judged one day!..."--Tammy Branham, 8/9/07


"Next time you see one (or several) of these in a waiting room, pick them up, take them with you to the room and dispose of them! I do it all the time knowing I have protected someone from some vulgarity and do not feel bad at all. It is an act of kindness to the unsuspecting child or parent coming in after you."--Robin, 8/7/07


"I work as a volunteer at a hospital. We greatfully accept magazines for our waiting rooms. I will be on the lookout for these type magazines and remove them promptly to the trash. Thanks for the information."--Joby, 8/9/07


"...What's a parent to do short of living in a community like the Amish or Hutterites do? I tell you truly that if I could find a group of like-minded Christian people, I'd live in my OWN TOWN, with my OWN media sources, my OWN Christian values, and my OWN wonderful Christian neighbors..."--Kelly, 8/7/07


"...God gave us the Bible and that is the only book that we should follow when it comes to our marriages. It is up to us as Christians to put a stop to this ungodly magazine because this kind of trash is nothing but wrong and will send this nation to hell!"--Donna, 8/9/07


"...[H]ave you noticed the marriage adivce is horrendous in all non-Christian women's magazines? Anyone who has a problem with her 'partner' (never husband!) is told that the way to solve it is to lay down the law and boss him around in a demanding fashion...Whatever happened to 'wives respect your husbands'? Is that verse no longer in the Bible??? It's very sad to see how the culture comes before what God says for so many of our own women today. Let's stop following Oprah and return to obeying the Lord in our marriages."--Lisa, 8/9/07


Finally, a man doing his Christian duty as head of his household:


"As a man, I've stayed away from women's magazines because they make me feel like a voyeur. I've got two daughters, ages 4 and 5, and they will not ever be allowed to subscribe to ANY women's or teens' magazines. I've decided that from now on I'm going to check for offensive material in public waiting areas, and I will quietly and discreetly remove any I find and destroy it."--Doug Harrison, 8/9/07


The arrogance in such statements is far more offensive to me than any sex tip that one may inadvertently find (or eagerly hunt and cherry-pick) in a doctor's office. A person who sincerely believes that it is an act of kindness to throw away another person's property without their consent and feels that s/he must "protect" another adult citizen from vulgarity is a person who will cheerfully use political means to inflict her beliefs onto fellow citizens who don't share them. A person who longs for a protective plastic bubble of isolation with like-minded "wonderful Christian" people is a person who will treat her gay, Muslim, Hindu, atheist, or fun-loving neighbors like so many germ-infested rats. A person who is offended at the suggestions of doing Kegel exercises, sharing a peach with one's husband or cooking in only an apron for him while the kids stay at Grandma's is a person who fears sexuality and pleasure. A person who disdains even the suggestion of playfulness and experimentation between a Christian husband and wife is one who would love to make what the rest of us did on Saturday night illegal.

Most importantly, an organization that seeks to reconfigure American media and business to conform to such peoples' specifications is, in my not so humble opinion, dangerous as hell (no pun intended) and well worth fighting. Magazines like Redbook may seem silly, and even sometimes be silly. The right to read and publish them, however, isn't silly in the slightest.